there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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