So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
