I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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