at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize