Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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