I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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