i just made my gag reflex go away.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
