Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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