i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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