I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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