That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
