My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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