I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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