If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
