people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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