Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
