Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
