Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
