She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize