I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
