They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
