i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
