i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
