wrigley field is MILF paradise
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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