In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
