and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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