so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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