before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
