I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
