Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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