Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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