Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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