i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
