Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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