If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
