he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He shit in the fireplace
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
