im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
