capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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