WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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