I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
