Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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