You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
