I need help removing her.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
