Acid is not a monday night drug
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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