I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
