Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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