is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
