White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize