we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
