in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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