so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
