In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
