dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
