I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
"it" just moved
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize