help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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