am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
