whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
